


Act like you want it, act like you don't

by Slaine



Category: Aldnoah.Zero (Anime)
Genre: Cheesy, M/M, Romance, Very Cheesy, and a little humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-13
Updated: 2014-09-13
Packaged: 2018-02-17 05:44:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2298572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slaine/pseuds/Slaine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oneshot written for a challenge.  Fake relationship AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	Act like you want it, act like you don't

Slaine sat on the cafeteria, staring at his food glumly.  Each passing day his issue heightened and he wasn’t sure how much more of it he could take anymore.

And it was such a ridiculous situation he couldn’t _believe_ he was living it.

His problem was that he was in love with his boyfriend.

“You don’t look too well, is everything alright?” Slaine jolted, having been too immersed in his thoughts to hear someone approach.

 _Speak of the devil_. Taking his place next to him on the table was Inaho.

Slaine considered just brushing him off, but he could see one of his damn fangirls watching them from the corner of his eye. The last thing he needed was them being hopeful there was a crack in their relationship.

So instead he affected the biggest smile he could muster, took his boyfriends hand and kissed it. “I was just missing your company, but everything is fine now that you’re here, Orange.”

Inaho nodded and pretended to believe him, of course.

It had started when Inaho found Slaine hiding in an empty storage room.

_To Slaine’s horror, Inaho had no subtlety at all and outright asked “Are you trying to avoid the hordes of women lusting after you?”_

_The blond sputtered, flailed and tried to excuse the female behavior, but at the end had to come and admit that yes, he couldn’t take the crowd of woman trying every method known and unknown to “get tcloser to him” everywhere he went._

_Inaho didnt act sympathetic to his plight, but at least he wasn’t finding it humorous either. In fact, he seemed to be seriously considering it._

_“And I doubt if you actually chose one of them the others would simply give up either…they might just attempt to ruin your relationship…” he pointed out “have you tried lying and saying you’re gay?”_

_Slaine blinked “…what?”_

_“Do you have anyone you like?” Slaine shook his head “Then just tell them you can’t be with them because you like men or something. They’ll be more inclined to give up on you if they think you will never be able to like women anyway.”_

_“That…might work for a while, but then they’ll probably grow suspicious if I don’t actually show any interest in men.”_

_“Date a guy then.”_

_“What? Are you out of your mind? Even if there was a guy around here interested in me, I could never do something as horrible as pretend to like him back! And don’t bother suggesting I try and find someone willing to fake a relationship with another guy, that would be impossible to-”_

_“Date me then”_

_Slaine was momentarily stunned, trying to understand if he had heard correctly. But this was Inaho, after all. He narrowed his eyes “…what’s in it for you?”_

_The brunette shrugged “My sister continues to pester me to find a girlfriend ‘to settle down with’ and Calm thinks if he shows me enough porn I’ll suddenly become like him. I’ve tried telling them I’m gay but neither believed me. So actually going out with another male should finally make them stop bothering me. Therefore this would beneficial for the both of us and neither has a reason to refuse.” Inaho paused in a way that almost made Slaine think he might be hesitating “Unless you dislike me too much to be able to fake a relationship?”_

_Slaine found that no, he did not and a deal was struck. Inaho, as always, had them sit down and determine each and every rule, such as what they’d call each other (after Slaine discovered he couldn’t stop giggling upon seeing Inaho call him ‘sweetheart’ or ‘dear’ with his usual straight face, they decided to simply use orange and bat) or just how far they would go (to Slaine’s surprise, as soon as he voiced his reluctance to anything beyond holding hands, Inaho didn’t try to convince him of it. Ironically this show of respect made Slaine decide to give in and they agreed to only quick pecks in public and heavy making out when they wanted to be ‘accidentally caught’ by people to further prove their legitimacy) and for how long (until either found someone they actually liked or people no longer had any interest in them)_

_It worked wonders. Though he could still see them often staring at him in woe and at Inaho with resent, the fact that he was dating a man had made many give up on him entirely. And despite the initial awkwardness in their attempts of showing affection, heightened by the fact neither had any experience at all, he had found he didn’t mind it…_

…but then he had quickly fallen for his boyfriend.

It wasn’t the physical aspect of it, but the fact that by now having to pretend, Slaine had to spend much more time with Inaho and the more he learned about and interacted with the brunette, the more he was smitten.

He tried telling himself this was perfect, since it meant he was going out with the person he liked.

But he couldn’t do it, he couldn’t handle much more of seeing Inaho act like a perfect boyfriend while knowing this was all a lie.

Finishing his meal, he briskly left without waiting for Inaho.

He had walked only two corridors away when the brunette caught up to him.

“Wait” Inaho said panting slightly -having run to after him- and grabbed his arm to stop him. “Now that we’re alone, what’s  _really_  bothering you?”

Slaine opened his mouth, but before he could decide between the truth and an excuse, he heard Yuki and Magbaredge’s voices, coming closer. Inaho frowned in frustration, but quickly pushed himself into a wall while pulling Slaine closer so they could kiss.

He was so into it he nearly missed Yuki’s resigned sigh and demand that they get a room. It was, however, impossible to miss Inaho’s tap on his shoulder as he pushed their mouths apart enough to say “They’re gone now, we can stop.”

He reached his limit. He definitely couldn’t take it anymore.

“Inaho, I…I want to stop this.”

The brunette froze, but thankfully he was smart enough to understand what Slaine meant. “…have you started liking someone?”

The blond flinched at how close Inaho was to the truth. “Y-yes.”

He had expected Inaho to start redoing his plan, figuring out how to deal with people with this new factor in. Maybe ask him who it was to add to his calculations. What Slaine hadn’t expected was Inaho to look almost hurt, and his voice to sound hollow “Fine, a deal is a deal. I will stay out of your way. Good luck with it.”

_He’s upset, but why? Oh, of course, I’ve ruined all his carefully laid plans. Damn, its not fair on him, the least I can do is tell him the whole truth…_

“Hold on.” he said before Inaho could leave “You deserve to know, at least. The person I like is…you.”

Silence.

“If that’s true then there’s no problem at all.”

“No, you don’t understand! Even if you’re fine still pretending, I’m not. I can’t handle enjoying being with you and how you treat me only to be reminded it’s all fake-”

“It isn’t.”

Slaine blinked, confused. “What?”

“I like you too. However, you are the type that would feel too bad pretending if you knew, so I said nothing. So it’s fine-”

Slaine didn’t let him finish, interrupting him by hugging and then kissing every part of his face as he could. He couldn’t believe his luck; that Inaho would also happen to fall in love with him while they were pretending-

_Wait. He never said he also ended up falling in love with me. In fact, his words were quite ambiguous. Could it be he…_

If it were anyone else, the blond might have assumed it was just a lack of being specific, but this was Inaho, and Slaine’s suspicions fit how he usually did things…

“…Inaho…” he said quiet but menacingly, hands on either side of the brunette’s neck in a gesture that was now intimate but could turn into throttling him in an instant “when exactly did you start liking me back?”

Inaho’s lack of answer –and the small beat of sweat now falling down his face- was all he needed. “You…did you suggest this whole fake relationship _because_ you liked me?!”

“No, of course not. As you’ve seen ever since we started, Calm and my sister were bothering me before. And I wanted to help you get rid of those women after you.” He hesitated, self-contemplating for a moment “…though I guess that was mostly because I liked you…and a fake relationship would not only solve those issues but also mean I could be with you for a while, even if it wasn’t real.”

“You..you _sneaky_ bastard”

“Why are you mad? In the end, I never lied to you about my motives, or why it would be beneficial to _you_. I simply didn’t mention _one_ of them, which hasn’t harmed you in any way. Really, there’s no logical reason why you should be glaring like that.”

“…I know. But that only makes me angrier. Why are you always right?”

“Not always. I didn’t actually think you would end up falling for me.”

“What? Then what did you expect from this relationship?”

“Like I said: beyond solving those problems generated by third parties, I wanted to be with you somehow.”

“Didn’t that hurt though? Thinking you wouldn’t really have it for real?”

Inaho shrugged “I suppose we’ll have to agree to disagree on this. I preferred living a fantasy to having not even that, whereas knowing what could be and isn’t seems to hurt you more than facing reality. Maybe it’s because sometimes I think you’re so perfect I’m used to thinking you aren’t real.”

Any anger Slaine felt evaporated to be replaced by goose bumps and butterflies in his stomach. _Damn him and his ability to say such things._

Thankfully Inaho kept going, ruining the moment and thus clearing Slaine’s head “Actually, given how I’m supposed to be the most down to earth and rational person around here, the fact that I have such a way of thinking is very ironical. I wonder if-” he was cut short by a finger on his lips.

“Inaho you can reflect on that later, there is something important I need to do now.”

“…oh?”

Taking Inaho’s hand, he kissed the knuckles and then held it against his own heart. “Inaho Kaizuka, I like you. Would you go out with me?”

It was finally Inaho’s turn to be speechless. He struggled for a few seconds before finally managing to respond, a very visible smile on his face “I would love that. And I like you too, Slaine Troyard.”

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaand this turned out cheesy. But it was either that or angst with an unrequitted love or something and I didnt want that.
> 
> When i was starting on the challenge originally I just had /both/ falling in love after starting it but that felt...a little too much. Plus Inaho having an ulterior motive for suggesting the whole thing made it more believable. And considering how his plans in canon have been a tad sneaky and underhanded, I could see him acting the same here. 
> 
> Finally, I tried to avoid crossing the line from "haha how sly!" into "oh eeww he just tricked Slaine into hooking up with him!" by making it clear Slaine was not actually deceived (as Inaho did /not/ lie about why it would benefit Slaine and himself) or forced into anything. I hope I managed to do that.
> 
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
